Rescue 911

Rescue 911 - how to bail out a boring party

•	raid your party treasure chest

•	phone the white house (202) 456-1414

•	do the french "switcheroo"

•	play truth or dare

•	change the music

•	find a Polaroid with an autotimer and take group photos.

•	put yourself out of your misery and send everyone home

•	put someone else in charge and leave.


TREASURE CHEST

It is satisfying to reach deep into your bag of party tricks and pull a rabbit out of the hat. A well-stocked party treasure chest will help you rise to the occasion of a spontaneous party or rescue a dull one on a moment’s notice. Consider adding some of these tried-and-true crowd pleasers to your own personal arsenal:

 party store basics

birthday candles

penny candy

 “bored” games

a bottle of very special alcohol

a bottle of champagne

cameras

children’s games and toys


 PARTY GAMES

twister (do not play immediately following a large meal)

charades

pictionary

trivial pursuit I, II or III

karaoke (a special sound system is required)

scruples

balderdash

musical pears

   the dictionary game

guess who

write the opening to a short story and have each guest add a paragraph


MUSICAL PEARS

(A Surreal game of charades)

Each name on this list represents a band or solo artist who shares their/his/her name with a food. Some of the names are a bit of a stretch -- but hey, that’s rock n’roll. (Hint: Remember that different cultures eat different foods.)

Print out this page, cut the names up, and place them in a hat. Conventional charades rules apply.

Adam Ant

April Wine

Mark Almond

A Taste of Honey

Bad Brains

B52s

Ginger Baker

Bananarama

Banana Splits

The Beatles

Beaverteeth

Belly

The Beat Farmers

Jellybean Benitez

Chuck Berry

Heidi Berry

Bill and Taffy

Blackberries

Black Crowes

Blancmange

Blind Lemon Jefferson

Blind Melon

BLT

Blue Oyster Cult

Bootsauce

Bread

Bucks Fizz

Buckwheat Zydeco

Buffalo Springfield

Jimmy Buffet

T-Bone Burnett

Paul Butterfield

The Byrds

Cake

Candy

Captain Beefheart

Catfish

Con Cherry

Neneh Cherry

Cherry Vanilla

Mark Chestnut

Chick Corea

Chicken Snack

The Chiffons

Chilliwack

Chocolate Jam Company

Chocolate Milk

Colt ‘45

Ry Cooder

Counting Crows

Country Joe and the Fish

Cracker

The Cranberries

Cream

Tim Curry

Dixie Cups

Ducks Deluxe

The Eagles

Eddie Rabbit

Echo and the Bunnyman

Electric Prunes

Fine Young Cannibals

Fishbone

Flying Burrito Brothers

Ginger

Glass Tiger

Grapefruit

Grapes of Wrath

The Gravelberries

Guyana Kool-Aid

Hall and Oates

Hard Meat

Heart

Henry Cow

Herb Alpert

Buddy Holly and the Crickets

Honeycombs

Honeydrippers

Hot Chocolate

Hot Dogs

Hot Tuna

The Hopping Penguins

Humble Pie

The Jam

Ice T

Ice Cube

Jelly

Jellybread

Joy of Cooking

Kid Creole and the Coconuts

Kingfish

Lemonheads

Lemon Pipers

Lemmon Sisters

Lime Spiders

Lilmelighters

Little Caesar

Lovin’ Spoonful

Lydia Lunch

Frankie Lymon

Manhattan Transfer

Marmalade

Martha and the Muffins

Meat Loaf

Meat Puppets

John Mellencamp

Midnight Oil

Mighty Lemon Drops

Christopher Milk

Milli Vanilli

Moby Grape

Mom’s Apple Pie

Jellyroll Morton

New Potato Caboose

Juice Newton

Norther Pikes

Nutmegs

Olive Lawn

Partridge Family

Peanut Butter Conspiracy

Elvis Parsley (sorry)

Peaches and Cream

Peaches and Herb

Pearl Jam

Phish

Pigpen

Robert Plant

Iggy Pop

Popcorn

Potatoes

Rabbit

Raspberries

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Ruben and the Jets

Rice and Beans Orchestra

Roosters

Rosemary Clooney

Salt -N- Pepa

Sherbert

The Sharks

Jane Siberry

Silver Apples

Smashing Pumpkins

Soup Dragons

Southern Comfort

Strawberry Alarm Clock

Sugar

Sugarcubes

Sugar Pie DeSanto

Sweet Honey in the Rock

Tangerine Dream

Turtles

Vanilla Fudge

Vanilla Ice

T-Bone Walker

Waterboys

Roger Waters

Muddy Waters

Whitesnake

Wild Cherry

Paul McCartney and Wings

Wishbone Ash

Yardbirds

Neil Young and Crazy Horse


child's play
CHILD’S PLAY

[I like children] if they’re properly cooked. - W.C. Fields

I have always found that children act most like adults when being treated like adults. This is not to say that you should serve them the same truffle risotto that you are serving your other guests. But if kids are expected at your dinner party, create a party for them that’s just as special as yours. Dress up a room they can call their own; treat them to goodies they might not get at home. Rent some movies. Bake some cookies. Roll some peanut butter and jelly wheels. Pop some popcorn. Toss in some arts and crafts supplies and party hats, and leave them to their own devices (avoid too much sugar, or the whole room might explode).

If you are expecting more than a couple of kids, a communal baby-sitter can be a worthy investment. If you don’t have kids at home, conduct a sweep of low lying surfaces for breakables and sharp corners.

Involve your own children in as much of the preparation as possible (i.e. designing name tags and decorating the room). Then give them an early lesson in strategic negotiating by allowing them to stay up until a designated time in exchange for a guaranteed unaccompanied retirement. Of course, if they’re old enough to clean up -- well, that’s another story.


FRENCH DRESSING

(Not a meal suggestion...but definitely an adventure). When I was researching this book, several of my friends informed me of a French (some say British) dinner party tradition. Apparently, at midnight couples discreetly leave the room, trade clothes with each other, and return to the party. Now I’m a pretty liberal guy, but cross-dressing is not prominent among my list of fantasies. Nonetheless, for those of you who have “done it all,” I’m assured that this makes for some pretty interesting conversation -- an is guaranteed to pull a boring party out of the doldrums.

music to switch by: Various artists, The Crying Game (Featuring Boy George), SBK Records, and/or Original London Cast Soundtrack: The Rocky Horror Picture Show, First Night Records

wine: chances are you have had enough wine already.


music
records to shift a party into 2nd gear

The B-52’s Cosmic Thing     Reprise

Deee-Lite  World Clique     Elektra

Jerry Lee Lewis     Original Sun Greatest Hits   Rhino

James Brown      Live at the Appolo     Polydor

Bee Gees     Saturday Night Fever     Polydor

Talking Heads     Stop Making Sense     Sire Records

Parliament Funkadelic     Tear the Roof Off (1974 - 1980) Casablanca

The Rolling Stones     Hot Rocks    (1964 - 1971) ABKCO Records

Various Artists     Atlantic Soul Classics   Warner Special Products

Blondie     Best of Blondie     Chrysalis

The Village People     Greatest Hits     Rhino

Elvis Costello    My Aim Is True     Rykodisc

K.C. & the Sunshine Band   The Best of K.C. & the Sunshine Band    Rhino


party store basics

Stock up on noisemakers, blowers, poppers, confetti, party hats (you know the party is going well when someone puts one of these on), and some festive napkins. Multicolored serpentine streamers -- the kind passengers throw off ships as they leave port -- are unquestionably the most festive look that one dollar can buy.


games
Just knowing that you have a couple of good board games in waiting provides the piece of mind a million-dollar insurance policy (connect to party games)


birthday candles

Everybody loves the tradition of making a wish and blowing out the candles -- even if you don’t have a cake. Stick them in anything from the dinner roll to the mashed potatoes.


Penny Candy

Penny candy is one of the great levelers in life. Candy rockets, Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops, licorice twists, jujubes, jawbreakers, red hots, Pez dispensers, etc., trigger warm childhood memories -- even if remembering what they used to cost dates you. Sprinkle them about as a table decoration or break them out late at night. In the Surreal world, these confections go perfectly with the finest vintage champagnes.


exp alcohol

Great dinner parties are bonding experiences. There’s nothing like the after-dinner ceremony of unveiling a bottle from your secret reserve to make every guest feel as close as Mick and Keith. Single-malt Scotch (the experience will be heightened if you claim that the bottle was presented to you by a red-bearded Scotsman with a bagpipe who smuggled it across the Highlands under his kilt), an old Cognac, Armagnac, port, or brandy will be just the ticket.


champagne

The sound of a popping champagne cork instantly affirms a celebration.


cameras

35 mm, disposable, Polaroid, or video. You never know when a “Kodak moment” is going to pop up. Keep your cameras loaded, charged and poised for action.


happy child

Happiness is a contented child